Sasuke's Scars
by ThroughAnimatedEyes
Summary: .:Shonen ai, SasuNaru, Language in Ch. 5, slight lemon, Finished!:. Sasuke has a real problem. What would happen if Naruto found out...?
1. Sasuke's Scars

" " speaking; ' ' thinking

((DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of it's character.))

- **Sasuke's Scars **-

' How can I stay like this forever...?

' It's simple... I can't...

' As I watch you, I realize that I'm your blind spot. You can't see me, or you don't want to see me. One of those. I doubt I'll ever be sure. All I know is that, whether you choose to or not, you don't see me, and I hate it. What am I to you? A friend? A teammate? Some one who can watch your back when you're in danger? Just how important am I to you? You don't even notice when I cry at night. If I wimper, it's answered with an obnoxious snore. For every tear I cry, you drool on your pillow. If I whispered your name, I would hear your voice saying, "Sakura-chan..." Why can't you just place a knife through my heart? You could end it so much faster, and with less pain.

' But, no. You'll never lay a hand on me that's meant to kill. You don't know it, but you stay in my mind and you slowly, painfully kill me. You even cause me to make stupid mistakes in battle, mistakes that really could kill me. I do it all for you, and you avenge me everytime, but you still don't see it. Maybe I'm better off dead. When I was nearly killed my Haku's needles, I told you my body moved on it's own. I lied. I saw him go for you and I couldn't let him mar your perfect body with holes. I'd protect you from anything. I'll help keep your body perfect, no matter how many scars I have on my own. Let me be your shield...

' Naruto,_ let me be your shield..._ '

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"Sasuke-kun...?" whispered a voice. Sasuke slowly turned and raised his head, keeping his back to the door, recognizing the voice. In the shadowed doorway of the room Sasuke and Naruto had to share stood Sasuke flaxen-haired teammate, his object of affection. As quickly as he could, Sasuke wiped away his tears and hid his bloody kunai, as well as his bloody wrists, the best he could. His back still turned to Naruto, he almost shook with fear that he would be caught in the act.

"W-what is it, Naruto-san?" he muttered under his breath, hardly loud enough for Naruto to hear. Every thought in Sasuke's head prayed to the gods that Naruto wouldn't enter any further, but his prayers went unheard as Naruto stepped inside, closer to Sasuke and closer to his secret. For the first time he could ever remember, Sasuke wished that Naruto wouldn't want to see him, touch him, or be near him.

"Sasuke-kun, what are you hiding...?" Naruto asked gently, taking another step towards his friend and reaching towards him.

" It's... nothing... Just tell what you need and then go, okay?" Sasuke barked, thinking, ' Why is this the time you choose not to be a insensitive loud-mouthed idiot, Naruto-chan? Why now...? '

Naruto's voice changed, from caring to almost sounding hurt. "Are you sure you're okay? Just show me what it is you're hiding, Sas---"

" It's nothing!" he shouted, fresh tears welling in his eyes as he said it. He knew it was a lie; it was so much more than "nothing." He had a problem, but there was no cure except for Naruto's caring touch and the words "I love you" coming from his lips. Because of that, he would never be cured, and he would probably die this way.

Naruto hesitated, as if sensing Sasuke's pain, his scars. Finally, he spoke. "Kakashi-sensei wants me, you, and Sakura-chan to meet him tomorrow at nightfall, at the edge of the forest to the east of town. You know the spot. I was wondering if you'd like to go and get some ramen with me... but I see you're busy..."

"D-damn right I am..." Sasuke managed to say. It was all he could do not to throw himself into Naruto's arm and weep, begging him to love him and to hold him as a lover would. He then bit his lower lip, hard enough to draw blood and leave the distinct metallic taste of blood in his mouth, refusing to say another word.

Naruto sighed dejectedly and Sasuke listened to him leave. He knew it had been wrong to force Naruto away, especially because it was his room as well, but he couldn't be caught. It never crossed his mind for a moment that he was driving away the only person that he wanted to come closer. He had to protect himself, his secrets, at any cost at all, no matter what that cost was.

Looking down at his weeping wrist and his dripping blade, Sasuke let one last tear escape as he pulled the kunai across his flesh one last time...

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, this is my fist Naruto shonen ai fan fiction. Yes, as of now, it is shonen ai because it has a meaning. I don't understand why I always end up making my favorite characters into bad people or people with major problems... I also kind of feel like I'm ripping off another fan fiction that I really admired, but if the author of that fan fiction happens to read this, I hope they will show mercy because I adored theirs and they were what inspired me to write this. Well, hope you like it. Review please.


	2. Naruto's Worries and Sakura's Plan

" " speaking; ' ' thinking

((DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.))

- **Naruto's Worries; Sakura's Plan **-

' What is it that you're hiding from me...?

' I thought we were friends. I owe you my life, but you're hiding something, and it's something important. Why won't you tell me? Do you hate me that much? I only want to help you...

' Sasuke, let me help you...'

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Naruto and Sakura both finished their ramen slowly, which brought Naruto's odd behavior to Sakura's attention. He had invited her to get some ramen with him, but he had seemed a bit depressed when he had. Now, seeing him eating like a normal person and not asking for seconds, Sakura knew something was very wrong.

Putting her chopsticks down in front of her, Sakura folded her hands under her chin and watched Naruto intently. Finally, she asked, "What's wrong, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto, who had been rapt in deep thought, snapped to attention. "W-what do you mean, Sakura-chan? Nothing's wrong...!"

"Yes, something is. You're acting strangely. You can tell me, Naruto-kun. It can be a secret, I promise..."

For once, Sakura didn't seem annoyed or disgusted by him; she seemed genuinely concerned. ' Is it really that obvious that I'm so worried about him...?' Naruto wondered.

"This must stay a secret, Sakura-chan. You can't tell any one, especially not Kakashi-sensei or Sasuke-kun. Do you understand?" Naruto muttered.

Saskura nodded, leaning a bit closer so he could speak quietly.

"I think... I think Sasuke-kun has a problem that he's trying to hide..."

"A problem?" Sakura whispered curiously. "What kinda of problem?"

"I don't know, but when I went to ask him to join me for ramen, he kept his back to me and sounded very angry. He had to have been hiding something that he didn't want me to see..." Naruto told her sadly.

"Wow. What could it be though?" Sakura wondered out loud. Naruto shrugged, clueless. Sasuke had always been level headed. Anything Naruto could think of seemed impossible for his raven-haired teammate. Sakura spoke again, cutting off Naruto's train of thought: "Well Naruto-kun, you share a room with him. You should find out while he's sleeping. Look through some of his things and see if you can learn anything."

"But what if he finds out and he never trusts me again?"

"What if this problem is really serious and he needs help, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto weighed his options. Deciding that Sasuke's life was more important that his trust, Naruto nodded.

"Alright Sakura-chan. Just pray to the gods that I don't get caught."

"Be careful, Naruto-kun."

Both stood and headed back to their camp. Naruto wasn't excited to return for fear that Sasuke was still mad at him, but he had to take risks. Two words repeated in his head, over and over.

_For Sasuke._

_For Sasuke._

_For Sasuke._

Sakura noticed Naruto walking with his head down, his brow knit in feverous thought. Slowly, she placed one hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure him, but doing little good. This was a time when Naruto actually didn't want Sakura close to him, but instead longed for Sasuke to be there, fighting with him, eating ramen with him, and proving that everything was actually fine.

But deep in the back of Naruto's mind, in the inner-most parts of his heart, he knew that everything was far from fine...

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: -sigh- Chapter two... What can I say? It doesn't feel as good as the first one, that's for sure. Naruto... What can I say that won't give away any amazing plot-twists? I kind of had to make Naruto and Sasuke share a room, or else the story wouldn't work. Sorry if it's inaccurate or anything, but it's a crucial detail to chapter three. I feel like I've changed the characters too much. They seem like they're MY characters, but with the names Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura slapped on them... Well, hope you're enjoying it.


	3. Naruto's Rough Night

" " speaking; ' ' thinking

((DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.))

- **Naruto's Rough Night** -

It was late into the night when Naruto laid in his bed, patiently waiting for Sasuke to go to sleep. Never before had Naruto realized how late Sasuke stayed awake; in Naruto's case, he was usually out before his head hit the pillow. The two shared bunk beds, with Naruto on the top and Sasuke on the bottom. Sasuke's insomnia was beginning to grind on Naruto's nerves; what good could he be at training with such little sleep?

"N-Naruto?" stammered Sasuke's small voice. "Are... are you awake?"

Naruto tensed, but he did not answer.

"Naruto?" Sasuke repeated, a bit louder.

Still no answer.

Naruto was worried that maybe Sasuke was going to come up and see if he was awake or not, and he feared getting caught, but Sasuke didn't look for any proof that his teammate was sleeping. Beacuse he could not see Sasuke, Naruto listened as carefully as he could.

At first, he believed his ears decieved him, but as he listened a bit more, he knew he was right.

Sasuke was crying.

Not only crying, but he was weeping. Although Sasuke was trying to be quiet, Naruto felt as though he could hear every tear. Silently, Naruto inched his way to the edge of his bunk so that he could see over the side but Sasuke couldn't see him. Slowly, Sasuke's hand appeared from his bunk, reaching into the drawer of his nightstand and pulling out a kunai.

Naruto placed his hands to his mouth to stop any of his gasp from reaching Sasuke's ears. It seemed that Sasuke was too involved in what he was doing to notice Naruto. Still listening intently, Naruto heard Sasuke draw in a quick, shallow gasp, as if he'd just felt pain.

Naruto's eyes widened. He wanted to move, to speak, to do anything that would stop Sasuke from doing what he was doing, but he was frozen and could barely breathe without concentrating on each heave of his chest.

Naruto heard Sasuke let out three of these pained breaths before he actually heard Sasuke speak...

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: How cruel. A cliff-hanger. I hate to be mean like that, but it has to be done! This feels like a _very_ short chapter, but I like it. You'll all live! Some of you are wondering what poor little Naruto-kun is going to do. Well, I'll just tell you that you should _really_ look out for chapter five. But, I've already said too much. Sorry for the shortness of the chapters, but I like to segment off the events. At least I update fairly quickly!


	4. Kakashi's Response

" " speaking; ' ' thinking; _lots of italics_ flashback

((DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.))

- **Kakashi's Response** -

"Naruto-kun, you wanted to speak to me?" Kakashi asked, eyeing his student curiously. Naruto nodded once, but kept his head down and said nothing.

"Well, go ahead then," Kakashi continued. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Kakashi-sensei... You know how I have to share a room with Sasuke-kun?" Naruto said, choosing his words carefully.

"Ah, yes. I'm quite sorry, but for right now, we need Cell 7 to stay together. The only place we could find only had three rooms. As soon as we can find better accommodations..."

"That's not the problem, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto stammered nervously, making sure Kakashi didn't get the wrong idea. This peaked Kakashi's curiousity.

"Oh really? Well then, what _is_ the problem, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto's face burned red; although he wasn't sure why he was blushing, it felt like an appropriate reaction.

"Kakashi-sensei, I... I think that Sasuke-kun... cuts himself..." he finally admitted. Kakashi's eyebrow rose in surprise. For a moment, he wasn't sure what to say.

"What... what makes you think that, Naruto-kun?"

"Last night, I thought he was hiding something from me, so I stayed awake to look through his things. He stayed awake too though, and when he thought I was asleep, he got out a kunai, and..."

Naruto didn't continue, and Kakashi didn't expect him to. Thinking of what he could say next, Kakashi massaged his temple gently.

"You know know why he does it?"

Naruto looked away. The memory of the night before rushed back to him...

_Naruto heard Sasuke let out three of these pained breaths before he actually heard Sasuke speak._

_"Naruto-chan... Naruto-chan, I'll die for you... I'll do anything for you... Naruto-chan, I love you... Why can't you love me too...?" Then, he wept._

_' Why does he have to be a cutter, and why does he have to love me? Why couldn't he just have a weird porn addiction like Kakashi-sensei?' All these thoughts ran through Naruto's mind as he listened to Sasuke's crying, and then he tried to find sleep. It was the only way he could escape his guilt..._

"I'm not sure, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto lied. "But I want him to stop."

"Well, Naruto-kun, it seems you'd have to find out why he does it if you want to make him stop. Maybe you should talk to him about it. You seem very worried about him. I'm sure you'll be able to find the right things to say..."

"Are you sure, sensei?" Kakashi nodded, and Naruto nodded once as well. "Alright. I'll talk to him today... Before training, okay?"

"That's fine, Naruto-kun. And remember, you can talk to me about anything."

Naruto looked up and met Kakashi's eyes for the first time since they'd begun talking. It startled Kakashi how much concern Naruto's eyes held for his teammate.

Naruto thanked his teacher and then left for the ramen shop. He needed a bowl of ramen before he talked to Sasuke. He knew what he had to do to make Sasuke stop hurting himself.

Even if it meant he had to lie through his teeth...

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: Woah. Such a deep chapter. Kakashi: I make him into such a fatherly guy, but he'll always be a pervert. Poor guy. I'm putting on this chapter and chapter three on in the same night. Is that updating fast enough for you? Well, chapter five is the one to anticipate. I already have it written; not typed, mind you. It'll be up... eventually. I think you'll all like it. Well, hope you enjoyed. Where are my reviews, darn it? Haha! X3


	5. Naruto's Lie

" " speaking; ' ' thinking

((DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.))

- **Naruto's Lie** -

Sasuke was in the room.

Naruto knew it, and it scared him.

Slowly, he pulled open the door, revealing the room where Uchiha Sasuke sat on his bunk, reading a book. He didn't even look up when Naruto entered and shut the door behind himself.

"Sasuke-kun?" Naruto whispered, leaning back on the closed door. Sasuke looked up, seeming a bit annoyed the Naruto was interupting his reading. "Can... Can we talk, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke watched Naruto for a moment, and then marked his page and gave Naruto his full attention. "What is it?"

"I... I know what you do when I'm asleep, and when you're alone..."

Sasuke's eyes widened and he glared at Naruto.

"You don't know anything. You don't know anything about me," he spat.

"Sasuke-kun, _please_," Naruto begged, tears nearly welling in his eyes. "I _do_ know. I _do _know that you cut your wrists. And I _do_ know that you love me..."

"Shut up! Shut up, you stupid fucker! You don't know shit about me! Just... Just leave me the hell alone...!"

Naruto could see Sasuke's eyes brimming with tears. Silently, Naruto made his way across the room, to Sasuke's bunk, and Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. He just pulled his knees up to his chest and wept like a child.

"Sasuke-kun, why did you hide it from me?" Naruto asked.

"Because you'd think I'm disgusting... You'd hate me and never speak to me again... _You don't love me!_" Sasuke shouted, tears running down his pale cheeks, which were now stained with pink.

"How can you know that? Sasuke-kun..." Naruto looked away and let the lie flow out of his mouth: "You were wrong. I _do_ love you..."

Sasuke froze and looked up at Naruto. Their eyes met and Sasuke shook his head.

"Don't toy with me, Naruto-chan," he pleaded.

"I'm not."

Naruto sat down and embraced Sasuke gently. Sasuke's head rested on Naruto's shoulder, and he finally felt safe. Slowly, Sasuke lifted his head to meet Naruto's and their lips found each others. The kiss was passionate and deep, and to Sasuke, it was what he had waited for his entire life. To Naruto though, something felt wrong. In his mind, he knew that this wasn't right and that this wasn't the relationship he wanted with Sasuke.

' But it's the one that will keep him _safe_...'

Naruto closed his eyes, and in his mind, Sasuke suddenly changed. It was no longer Sasuke he was kissing, but he now saw Sakura there with him. Placing his hand behind Sasuke's head to make the kiss deeper, Naruto imagined Sakura in his place, and he imagined that it was her lips he was now kissing.

The kiss broke though, and when Naruto opened his eyes, it was Sasuke once again.

"Naruto-chan... I love you... Why didn't you tell me before...?"

"Because... I was nervous..."

"I'm sorry."

"Sasuke-chan," Naruto said firmly, grasping the boy's shoulders and surprising him. It felt odd for Naruto to call him "Sasuke-chan," but he ignored that. "You have to promise me something. You have to promise you'll never hurt yourself again. I don't want anymore pain for you..."

Finally, Naruto was telling the truth.

"I promise, Naruto-chan. I'll do whatever you say. I love you, Naruto-chan!" Sasuke exclaimed, throwing his arms around Naruto's neck and burying his face deep within Naruto's shoulder.

Naruto placed his own arms around Sasuke and looked away. Another lie escaped him.

"I... I love you too..."

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow. The highly-anticipated chapter five. Well, there's your answer. That's what Naruto will do when he finds out. I feel kind of bad for him... What else can I say? Not much... Hope you enjoyed it. Review. X3


	6. Sakura's Rage

" " speaking; ' ' thinking

((DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.))

- **Sakura's Rage** -

Naruto had left Sasuke for a while after their encounter. Sasuke had been too elated to care; Naruto was fairly sure he had gone to sleep. Naruto had went out though, planning on getting ramen, but ending up with sake instead. A lot of sake.

By dusk, Naruto remembered that Cell 7 was supposed to train with Kakashi east of town at nightfall. Walking unsteadily with his worries drowned in alcohol, Naruto made his way east only to pass Sasuke waiting outside of Cell 7's temporary home.

"Naruto-chan...?" Sasuke muttered, sounding almost nervous but keeping his trademark indifferent look on his face. "Should we tell Sakura and Kakashi-sensei about us... you know, being together?"

Remembering the situation he was in had a sobering effect. Naruto breathed deeply, and the replied, "I'll tell them. Sakura-san will hate me enough as it is. I may as well be the one who gives her reason to..."

"Did you ever have _real_ feelings for Sakura, Naruto-chan?"

Naruto thought carefully. "Perhaps a bit, in the beginning, but none after I started to know you better."

Sasuke smiled at him and he returned it as believably as he could. It pained Naruto to know that the love Sasuke so desprately longed for was something he couldn't _really_ give him. No matter how hard he pretended, he wasn't in love with Sasuke. He had no problem with the fact the Sasuke liked men, but the problem laid within the fact that Sasuke liked _him_, and Sasuke would probably kill himself if Naruto didn't love him back.

Now, Naruto was beginning to have regretful thoughts about his own sexuality: ' Why couldn't I be gay? Why couldn't I just love him back for real? '

The two reached the eastern forest where Kakashi and Sakura both waited. Naruto hadn't spoked to Sakura since the day before when she'd told him that he could look through Sasuke's things. She was nervously waiting on Naruto to deliever some news. Kakashi, worried about both the boys, showed his impatience less the Sakura did, but he was equally nervous.

Naruto left Sasuke and walked towards Sakura, who was saying something about "Now you've passed your laziness onto Sasuke-kun! Even Kakashi-sensei was here before you...!" Something like that; Naruto wasn't listening. Finally, he reached Sakura, who gave him a puzzled look as he placed his hands on her shoulders. He kept his head down so that she couldn't see the pain and sadness in his eyes.

"Sakura-san," he whispered, on the verge of breaking down and crying on her shoulder. "You'll be happy to know that I'm no longer going to pretend to interesting in you."

"Pretend?" Sakura asked, only loud enough for she and Naruto to hear. "Naruto-kun, what happened? What's wrong with Sasuke...?"

"Sakura-san, there's nothing wrong... Sasuke-chan and I are together now!"

He hadn't meant to say it as loud as he did, but if it hadn't been a shout then it would've been a sob, and he couldn't cry.

"Naruto-kun...?" she muttereed, looking between the depressed Naruto and the smirking Sasuke. "I... I..." She couldn't find any words to express how she felt, so she screamed, "_How could you do this to me?_" at the top of her lungs and slapped Naruto squarely on the cheek. A few of the tears he'd tried to repress escaped when she did; she noticed them, but she forced her feet to move and ran back into town.

"Naruto-kun," Kakashi said with a heaving sigh. "I don't believe that was the best way to begin our training. With Sakura gone, we shouldn't review any new material. Class dismissed."

"I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei..." Naruto apologized. Sasuke joined him and nodded.

"I'm sorry as well, Kakashi-sensei. Naruto," he added, turning to the blonde. "Would you like to go for ramen?"

Naruto contemplated for a moment, and then he shook his head. "No, I think I'd rather just go home."

Kakashi hung his head as the boys left. To see Naruto in such a position was one thing, but to see Naruto passing up ramen...

That was a whole new side of Naruto's depression that Kakashi had never seen before, and that he never wanted to see again.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: _Poor Sakura-chan!_ Wow, I think I captured her anger fairly well there... Poor Naruto. He's such a nice guy; he'll do _anything_ for a friend. Most fan fictions don't portray that. Hell, that's the basis for my story! Lemon in chapter seven possibly...? Stay tuned and find out. Hope you liked it. X3

P.S: I don't think many of you will like chapter seven...I apologize in advance. So sorry. -runs and hides-


	7. Naruto's Mistake

" " speaking; ' ' thinking

((DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. WARNING: LEMON))

**- Naruto's Mistake** -

Two weeks passed with Naruto pretending to be completely in love with Sasuke. Sakura refused to speak to him, although he desprately wanted her help. Most days in those two weeks, Naruto would disappear with Kakashi and cry his eyes out. It seemed that his teacher was the only one who was willing to hear him out and comfort him, but Kakashi still couldn't come up with a way to get his student out of his bind.

For two weeks, Naruto was forced to imagine Sakura in place of Sasuke when they kissed. They never did anything more than kiss, Naruto was sure of that. He pretended to be innocent and prudent, but he knew that if he allowed himself to have sex with Sasuke, he couldn't take it and he would break down as soon as they did it.

It was one night, two weeks after Naruto had confessed his false love to Sasuke; the two were kissing rather heatedly when Sasuke broke away from Naruto.

"Naruto-chan, are you satisfied with me?" Sasuke breathed, his face red.

"What? Of course I am. Why do you ask?"

"Because I heard you the other night... _enjoying_ yourself..." Sasuke admitted, blushing a shade deeper.

"You... You heard me...?" Naruto stammered, mortified. He had been sure Sasuke had been asleep when he'd done that. It had been after an especially heated make-out session that left images of Sakura enticing other parts of his body. He had to do something about it, but he had just used the bathroom and another trip would've made Sasuke suspicious. So, he opted for waiting for Sasuke to sleep and began handling his problem.

"I'm sorry, Naruto-chan; I didn't mean to hear you. But you don't have to do that, you know. Naruto-chan, if you want..." Sasuke's eyes shifted away and he barely spoke above a whisper. "We can, you know... Do it..."

"What...?" Naruto gasped as he felt Sasuke's hand brushing against the crotch of his pants. Slowly, Sasuke's lips found Naruto's again and his hands began opening Naruto's pants.

"S-Saskue," Naruto said between Sasuke's lavishing kisses. "We... we don't have to do this... Ah!"

Sasuke pulled down Naruto's pants and boxers just enough to release his erection, and then Sasuke ran his fingers lightly up and down it's length, making Naruto moan quietly.

"You don't understand, Naruto-chan. I just want to make you happy." By that time, Sasuke had pushed Naruto onto his back on Sasuke's bunk. Sasuke began making his way down to Naruto's lap. Naruto could feel Sasuke's hot, moist breath on his cock and he closed his eyes. Visions of Sakura about to go down on him flooded his mind, and he even heard her voice saying, "I just want to make you happy, Naruto-chan..."

He felt a tongue running up and down the entirety of him manhood and making it's way to the top. He breathed deeply and moaned in pleasure; the only real sound that escaped his lips was "Sa... Sa..." before he trailed off, never finishing the word.

Suddenly, his dick was encased in moist heat. He gasped loudly as he felt it licked and sucked and teased. Moaning passionately, "Sa... Sa...," he felt lips moving up towards his tip and then down again, slowly at first but getting faster. Naruto loved this new sensation, and it brought him so close to the edge. He was so close to cumming when he found the rest of his word.

"Sa..._Sakura-chan!_"

The pleasure stopped before Naruto realized what he said. His eyes snapped open as Sasuke's mouth left his unfufilled hard-on.

Sasuke looked furious.

"What did you say? What the _hell_ did you just say?" he shouted, frightening Naruto a bit.

"I... I said 'Sasuke-chan.' What else would I say...?"

"Liar! You fucking _liar!_ You said Sakura's name! You were thinking of that _bitch!_"

"Sasuke-chan, no...!" Naruto tried to object but Sasuke wouldn't listen to him.

"Get out of my bed!" he cried. "Just go to sleep and we'll talk later!"

"Sasuke..."

"I said get out! Get out, get out, _get out!_"

Naruto scrambled off of Sasuke's bunk and got into his. "Just... Just don't do anything stupid, Sasuke-chan... _Please_..." he whispered, but his only reply was Sasuke's sobs. He didn't try to reason with Sasuke; he knew he would probably end up hurt. Instead, he tried to sleep so that he could have his wits about him when he did talk to Sasuke about the incident.

Naruto wasn't sure if he was awake or dreaming, but he heard Sasuke's crying, and then, suddenly, it stopped...

The next morning, Naruto awoke to find Sasuke's weeping body curled in a corner with a slit across his throat, a kunai in his hand, and the name "Naruto" carved into various parts of his body...

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: Chapter eight and nine are up. Please read and review.


	8. Sasuke's End

" " speaking; ' ' thinking

((DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.))

- **Sasuke's End** -

"Sa..._Sakura-chan!_"

The pleasure stopped before Naruto realized what he said. His eyes snapped open as Sasuke's mouth left his unfufilled hard-on.

Sasuke looked furious.

"What did you say? What the _hell_ did you just say?" he shouted, frightening Naruto a bit.

"I... I said 'Sasuke-chan.' What else would I say...?"

"Liar! You fucking _liar!_ You said Sakura's name! You were thinking of that _bitch!_"

"Sasuke-chan, no...!" Naruto tried to object but Sasuke wouldn't listen to him.

"Get out of my bed!" he cried. "Just go to sleep and we'll talk later!"

"Sasuke..."

"I said get out! Get out, get out, _get out!_"

Naruto scrambled off of Sasuke's bunk and got into his. "Just... Just don't do anything stupid, Sasuke-chan... _Please_..." he whispered, but his only reply was Sasuke's sobs. He didn't try to reason with Sasuke; he knew he would probably end up hurt. Instead, he tried to sleep so that he could have his wits about him when he did talk to Sasuke about the incident.

Sasuke pulled himself into the corner of his bunk and curled his knees up to his chest. Naruto had said Sakura's name... Naruto had told Sasuke that he was in love with him, but he had called out for Sakura while Sasuke was going down on him... He had never been more hurt or embarrassed in his entire life.

' What did I do wrong...? I tried so hard to make him happy... Am I not good enough for him...? '

Sasuke searched his mind desprately for an answer to his questions. His eyes began to ache as he cried and he throat was raw from his dry sobs. Suddenly, he bagan coughing. He had to stop crying or he would make himself sick.

He had to stop crying...

His mind reeled as he lifted his head and cast his eyes towards his nightstand. In it's drawer was his kunai; the kunai that had never seen a single fight, but had caused more bloodshed than any other kunai Sasuke owned. Slowly, he inched his hand towards the drawer, opened it, and touched the blade. He drew his hand back as if it had burned him.

' Naruto made me promise... that I would never do that again...'

But Naruto had lied to him. Naruto had never returned his feeling. What if Sasuke had just been some sick game to him? Could Naruto be that cruel?

Sasuke extended his left arm again and touched the kunai. He didn't withdraw this time. He ran one finger across the sharp blade and felt the skin on his finger split and bleed. It was a wonderful feeling, the tingling pain that shot from that one cut. He frantically grabbed for the kunai, cutting his hand. He transferred the already blood-stained knife into his right hand and crept out of his bunk. Naruto was asleep, or he was acting fairly well. Sasuke now knew not to trust Naruto while he was "asleep." Making his way to the corner of the room, he sat on the floor and watched as his blade carved into his flesh. As if it wasgoing on it's own, the kunai made bloodied scratches into a word: Naruto. He moved from one spot to another, the kunai guiding itself. Pain radiated from all over his body, and it felt _so_ good. Finally, he wanted the most pain he could take. He wanted to go as far as he could, and never come back...

As the kunai went across his throat, Sasuke smiled, even if it was only for a fleeting second, because he finally knew he was finally going somewhere where Naruto could no longer torment him...

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, I'm adding this chapter later, but it's chapter eight.The new chapter nine is the old chapter eight. Sorry if it's confusing, but this chapter fits better as eight than it does nine.I came up with this after I finished the story. I'm sorry for any confusin it may cause!I've started another story, which I will post soon. It is nothing like this one. Sorry for the depressing ending.


	9. Naruto's Thoughts

((DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or any of it's characters.))

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- **Naruto's Thoughts** - 

' It's been a week that you've been gone, Sasuke-kun. No matter how much I wanted to help you, I couldn't. I only hurt people in the process. Sakura-san has started to forgive me. I had to lean on her shoulder as I cried when they buried you, and Sakura-san had to lean on Kakashi-sensei, and Kakashi-sensei had to cry by himself. We were surprised when they announced that they wouldn't disband Cell 7. I was sure they would; I even _hoped_ they would. I knew we would be pathetic shinobi without you. I wanted to quit, but Kakashi-sensei talked me out of it. If I had, it would've just been Sakura-san, and as much as I didn't want to fight without you, I couldn't abandon her.

' It was hard enough for me to go through your things after you died. It was all in that room though; every piece of yourself that you left behind waited in that room. I slept in your bed the first night you were gone though. It made me feel more comfortable, as if you were there too and you hadn't left us. If we had never almost shared that bed in the first place, maybe I wouldn't have slipped up, and maybe you would still be here. For the past week, I haven't been able to say Sakura-san's name, because it was that name that made you leave us. I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun...

' I was alone in our room today; I still call it "me and Sasuke-kun's room." I finally built up my nerve so that I could look through your stuff. Kakashi-sensei even promised Sakura-san and I one of your things. I don't know if that's disrespect or anything, but it really made me feel better that I got to keep something to remember you by. Kakashi-sensei let me look first. He even asked me to, since it was our room. Sakura-san had never known about you cutting before. I think Kakashi-sensei wanted me to hide anything that would show her that you had been a cutter. So, I looked today, and I only found one thing that I would have to hide from Sakura-san. It was the very last thing I looked at, because I remembered putting it there after I found you that morning. I opened up that drawer, and your kunai was there, sitting in a small puddle of your dried blood.

' I kept the kunai and nothing else. As I remembered how I had cause you so much pain and sorrow, I took your cold metallic blade and I pulled it across my warm tanned flesh for the first time, and a tear escaped my eye...'

_These thoughts ran through Uzumaki Naruto's mind as he looked down at the reddish mark the remained on his wrist, not yet a scar, and the six others that sat with it. Taking out Sasuke's kunai, he didn't cry at all as he dragged his dripping blade across his weeping wrist for the seventh time that week, one for everyday he was without Sasuke._

' Sasuke, _I tried to be your shield..._'

- **Owari** -

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	10. Explanation

- **Kashiji's Explanation As To Why She Wrote This Uber Depressing Fan Fiction** -

Hey there friends. Okay, I've read a lot of fan fictions in my life. That's the absolute truth because I'm as avid a reader as I am a writer. Well, I've always been a fan of shonen ai and yaoi fan fictions. I don't think there is enough anime out there with casual homosexual couples (by casual, I mean the entire story _doesn't _revolve around these two people being gay, you know?). Anyway, I'm getting off track. Also, as I was reading these fan fictions, I noticed that a lot of them were really good but they were kind of the same: one male character is in love with another male character, thinking that the other would hate them or think they were gross if they admitted their love, but the other character finds out and it turns out, _TADA!_ They're in love with the other character too! So they have passionate sex where ever they happen to be at the time...

That was interesting about the first 274 times I read it. And even the 274th time, it was a little boring.

So, I thought, ' Isn't there something that I've never read before that I can write about?' That's where I came up with the idea that Sasuke was in love with Naruto, but Naruto didn't love Sasuke. Well, I don't think you want me to explain the entire thing; you should have read it by now. I'd never read anything like that before, so I thought I would try it out. I did, and you guys responded surprisingly well. It was while I was writing chapter five that I thought, ' Well, if Naruto doesn't love Sasuke, but he's going to have to kiss him eventually to keep the charade up, what can I do?' That's when one word popped into my head.

' Sakura.' _Of course._

I didn't think at that time that I would actually kill poor Sasuke, but I knew I wanted to put in a bit of lemon (and since it was my first time writing lemon, I was a bit nervous to write about them going all the way...). So, with the lemon in mind, I remembered that Naruto was thinking about Sakura everytime he and Sasuke kissed. So, I thought again: ' Well, what if he made a bit mistake? What if he actually said Sakura's name? Well, what would Sasuke do if he did that...? Duh...'

It was depressing to kill Sasuke, but I knew that if I wanted to make Sasuke's cutter character consistant, I had to have him cut himself to death after finding out that Naruto didn't return his love. Of course, this led to me having to make Naruto's do-absolutely-anything-to-stop-Sasuke-from-hurting-himself character consistant, so Naruto became a cutter in the end as well. It's depressing, and I'm sorry. But, hey, what other fan fiction writer apologizes for killing characters?

I hope this "explanation" could clarify a bit as to why I made this fan fiction so sad: I just really wanted to do something different, and I wanted to do it well. Based on my reviews, I think I may have succeeded. Thanks to all my readers for putting up with this.

Sincerely,

**Kashiji X3**

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P.S: God, that's a long title, isn't it? 


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